Tuesdays with Gilderoy
by SugarRoses
Summary: Upon starting an internship at St. Mungo's, a self-conscious 15-year-old Hermione Granger finds herself in a forbidden romance with one of its patients: Gilderoy Lockhart. ((Year 5))


((Thank you for opening this story. It takes place in year 5 and is book-verse (I haven't seen the movies). Please read and review! Constructive criticism, thoughts, speculations, etc would be appreciated. c:))

Fifteen was a delicate age for me. My time was limited, and my worries were constant. Typically, I spent both my waking and sleeping hours worrying about my upcoming O.W.L. exams, worrying about my friend Harry, and worrying about Voldemort's horrifying return.

You might think that this left no time for a girl like me to bother with the smaller anxieties that usually consumed adolescent minds, but you would be mistaken.

Though I would never willingly admit it to my two obviously male best friends, I was not immune to worrying about how out of control my hair looked no matter how many "shine-and-slick" charms I attempted to put on it, how my breasts had suddenly seemed to grow too large for my school uniform to fit comfortably, and how (starting last summer) I had unwelcome monthly visits from a rudely insistent acquaintance.

Yes, I was growing up, just like the rest of the students at Hogwarts. No matter how frivolous I found these annoyances, I was unable to escape them. Indeed, neither books nor bravery (my two favorite means of problem-solving) could stop me from wasting half my Saturday memorizing spells to vanish the cluster of zits that had maliciously greeted me when I had woken up.

"Hermione, what are you playing at? It's Saturday morning and you're probably already a week ahead in homework, or ten weeks, who knows...so why do you still have your nose in that book?" Ron inquired, shaking his head as he entered the Gryffindor common room with Harry to find me curled up by the fire, eyes scrolling the pages of _Look on the Outside As Beautiful as You Feel on the Inside: An Inspirational Spell Guide _by Gilderoy Lockhart.

"Ron! Harry! Oh, I'm just-" I started, closing the book and laying it face down, hoping he didn't read the title. My cheeks flushed hot with embarrassment. "I'm not ten weeks ahead in homework! Even for me, that would be impossible. But as you know, our O.W.L.'s are coming up in four months, and I don't think there is any such thing as being over-prepared."

It appeared that Harry was ignoring my words, which I knew he had heard a million times over before, and instead tilting his head to read the spine of the book I had been engrossed in. "_Look on the Outside as-_" he began before his eyes shot back up at me, his eyebrows furrowed. "A Gilderoy Lockhart book? Wait, Hermione, we don't have to know that stuff for the O.W.L.'s, do we?" Instead of suspicion or accusation, a small note of worry could be heard in his voice. "I thought Flitwick said the Charms O.W.L. only covered stuff we learned third year and higher."

"W-well, he did. Though I'm surprised you were actually listening to that, Harry," I attempted, feeling slightly guilty for the insult, but I had to buy time to think my way out of admitting to the boys that I was trying to beautify my appearance with charms. They would never let me live it down. "The thing is...well, this particular book...it contains some obscure ancient spells that Flitwick said have a small chance of appearing on the O.W.L. A very small chance, but still a chance."

Ron scoffed and sat down in the armchair next to me, stealing the book off the ground and flipping open to the chapter I had bookmarked. I tried to protest, but he immediately began to read aloud. "'How to get rid of a particularly pesky zit in three easy incantations'? Is that what you call an obscure ancient spell, Hermione?"

Suddenly he started laughing, and when I hurriedly turned to Harry, I saw that there was mirth twinkling in his green eyes as well, a smile tugging at his lips. "Hermione, you could have just told us you were trying to...well, you know," he offered. "It's no big deal really."

But it was a big deal. It was a very big deal to me, the self-conscious girl that was stuck with two boys as best friends. My fists clenched at my sides, my face burning yet again. Before I could reply to Harry, Ron found a gap in his fits of laughter to say: "I guess you'll need to say twelve incantations though!"

My jaw and stomach dropped. I knew this was an especially hurtful reference to the fact that, in one night's time, I had four new zits gathered in an archipelago on my chin. Suddenly hot tears threatened to spill out of my eyes. "Shut up, Ron! Stop laughing! I was just-you couldn't possibly understand!" I then screamed, grabbing the book back from him and racing through the portrait hole.

"Aw, damn it. I was just joking! We all have them! It's no big deal, really!" he called after me, but I ignored this and kept running. The last thing I heard him yell was "Come on, I don't want to have to walk on eggshells with you just because you're a girl!"

But the truth was, I was no longer a girl. I was in the thick of becoming a young woman, and my hormones were wreaking havoc on every aspect of my being.

It didn't help matters that, despite Harry and Ron being my buddies, I had begun to see both of them in a slightly different light than I had in previous years. I was not in love with either of them, but for some reason, some reason that I couldn't put my finger on, I felt a gap growing between us. I had begun wanting them to see me as 'pretty', and I didn't feel as if I could confide all my deepest thoughts to them the way I had grown accustomed to.

Now, after running away from my friends with tears nipping at my eyes, I dashed down to my refuge: the library. It was nearly empty, as I suppose most students tended to side with Harry and Ron on the topic of how to spend a Saturday morning, and I slid down into the first seat I could find.

I let a few tears fall freely down onto the picture of Gilderoy Lockhart that grinned up at me from my book. Opening it again with a shaky hand, I came across the introduction that Lockhart had written, or at least claimed he had written. Not entirely sure why, I found myself reading it as the tears continue to trickle down my cheeks.

'Greetings, readers, new and old! You have made a wise purchase by securing for yourself a copy of _Look on the Outside as Beautiful as You Feel on the Inside: An Inspirational Guide_. Let me be the first to tell you that appearance is not everything; however, what reason is there to hide your true beautiful self from the world that sees you each day? No reason at all, I say!

Of course not everyone was born as naturally gorgeous as I was. That is to be expected, and is nobody's fault by the Fates'. Please refrain from feeling badly about yourself if you did not inherit the kind of genetics that I did. The entire point of this book is to allow people like you to harness their internal beauty and make it shine on the outside the way I'm certain it already does on the inside!

And that is my gift to you. If you follow my charms, spells, and incantations to the letter, you will soon find that the true you (the incandescent soul that lies within) will be exposed for everyone to admire. Perhaps then you, like me, will find the mirror has become your best friend!

With wishes of your good fortune,

Gilderoy Lockhart

Best-selling Author

Order of Merlin, Third Class

Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League

Five Times Winner of _Witch Weekly's_ 'Most Charming Smile Award''

Oh, yes, Lockhart had definitely written the introduction himself, I realized. And after I had finished reading it, I found that I had stopped crying. Somehow Lockhart's words provided me with a sliver of comfort. True, they were laced with arrogance, but there was also genuine encouragement in them.

Though my confidence in my appearance was lacking at age fifteen, I felt sure that I possessed many beautiful internal qualities: intelligence, courage, loyalty, fairness, and a kind heart.

And as I thought more about this, my need for the book diminished. Who really cared about a few zits when I knew that I was a good person?

...I did. I cared.

For a brief moment, I imagined myself strutting out of the library filled with self-assurance. I imagined myself heading back to the Gryffindor common room and apologizing to Harry and Ron over what a vain, silly girl I had acted like. I imagined spending the rest of my Saturday in a much more fulfilling and productive fashion, perhaps by taking a walk by the lake with my friends and then studying material that would really appear on the O.W.L.'s.

But that was not to be.

Instead I flipped back to the chapter on making zits vanish and began reciting the spells to myself yet again. My stomach lurched with guilt and confusion over what I was doing. I barely felt like myself, being this concerned over something so admittedly superficial, and what I really needed was someone to talk to about the roller-coaster emotions of my adolescence.

What I really needed was a girl friend. But what I ended up getting was a boyfriend, and one that was neither Harry nor Ron. Surprising, maybe, but what I didn't know at the time was that it was going to be one immensely surprising year for me.


End file.
